“Hey Mike, do you have puppies for sale?”

“Sure, here’s a video.”

“Hey Mike, can I get a picture?”

“Hey Mike, can I get the  pedigree?

“Hey Mike, can I get a side shot to show my wife?”

“Hey Mike, how tall is he going to be?”

“Hey Mike, can I see more pics of the mom?”


Hey I got an idea motherfucker, how about you send me a pic of the goddamn money you plan to buy it with. Then I’ll send you whatever you want, or at least a bank account statement proving you have it….preferably  a bank account that’s in your name and not your mom’s  or your girlfriend’s name. 😂

I gotta charge you more now for all this work. I’m sitting here trying to do my son’s homework with him. I never even done my own homework. This second grade common core bullshit has me wanting to start Special Ed all over again. Quit wasting my god damn time. When someone is serious about buying a pup, within the first 50 words they will ask “when can I come and pick him up” and I’m so good at this I can tell within the first 20 if you got the money. 😂

And God help the next person that calls me in October telling me they want a puppy in March. MF, do you think I am not going to answer my phone in March? Do you think all the puppies in the world are going to be dried up in March? WHAT THE F YOU  CALLING US NOW FOR 😂😂



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